Funny... kinda like my life. You'd almost think I wanted to base it on that, or something... nah, everyone knows there's absolutely no humor to be found in everyday reality.

Will you give me $10,000 to record a rap CD? I'm really good...check this out: I hit a cat with a bat, how do you like that, my rhymes are fat, I wear a hat, I once saw a rat.

I happen to know a little about the subject, and enjoy writing about it. It's your job to decide whether or not I'm qualified. In a free-speech environment, you just have to put up with a few guys like me, who think they might have something worth saying. No. I do not deal in old or new comic books, newspaper comics, videotapes, DVDs, T-shirts or anything else besides data on the Internet. I do not maintain files of pictures of obscure toons, which I can use to make copies for you.

We will prorate any contributions that are not complete episodes. For example, if we used one minute of material from your contribution you would receive twenty dollars (1/5 of the total), the left sleeve and collar cut out from an official newfunny T-shirt, and your middle name in the credits as one of the writers. Well, that's two questions, but the answer to both questions is NO. It is possible that someone else submitted a similar joke.

Leonard Bernstein once noted, "When music is funny, it does something shocking, surprising, unexpected, absurd. It puts two things together that don't belong together, things which are incongruous." The Game takes the somber obit page and replays it in upbeat sports tempo. Hence incongruity, and the chance that the Game, not death, will strike some as funny. George Bernard Shaw noted, "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."

I am just very ninja-like in my life, so to call myself a ninja is only natural. Most everyone who knows me would agree. Besides, ninjas are awesome and so am I.

Sometimes I figure there has to be someone better out there. Other times I when I wake up in the morning and step behind that rectangle, I truly believe it's the one place I'll always have everything go my way. That's a bunch of garbage. Sometimes it takes me a little longer because my body can't burp and my stomach is full from the 10 games of one on one I just finished playing but I drink more than my share.

I am writing a novel! It's an erotic farce entitled It's Always Time, "IAT" for short. You can start reading it here.

In short, these ideas are solidly research based. We've reviewed over 5000 research papers. The evidence, though mostly from animal studies, is overwhelmingly that AGEs and AGE-inducing foods are very damaging. The barrage of advice, ads, press releases, and general chaos of dietary advice being given to the public is deafening. Many of us have been driven into apathy by conflicting, ever-changing, ineffective advice. It is hard to be heard in the din even if one is correct.

Despite the improvement, for the next little while, what we have HAS to pay down debts from this bad time. Soon, this won't be the case, but to save $20k USD would take several years... and in that time, chances are, the bus will be scrapped, carved up for other purposes, or will simply rust to pieces. (For the record, though, we ARE saving a little towards the bus.

No. Sometimes I speak with a "rap" accent, but I'm only emulating the art of rap and not the act of being black. Even though rap music is mostly performed by African Americans, there are many caucasians emerging on the scene. Even if there were no other white rappers, that is no reason why I shouldn't pursue a career as a rapper. Does a white person who plays basketball think he's black? Does Tiger Woods think he's white? No.

It was great being there with you too. You know I'm always proud to be around you and "claim you" as my brother. I luv ya Big Bro!! Ain't nuthin' gonna change that, not nuthin'! Loretta and I have been told that you resigned from the board. To us that is unfortunate- You were a positive force for responsible change as was your work on the newsletter. We keep you in our prayers and believe that you shall live to see healther days. Charlie & Loretta Thank you for the encouraging words.

Answer: Nope. I'm not living like The Residents were rumored to have done (i.e. living for years above a paint shop, I recall). My work area is well ventilated.

The question of how much to charge is a popular one in the minds of web developers and it's a topic which crops up often on Guild discussion lists. However, it's a subject which is not permitted according to Guild policies. (See HTML Writers Guild Pricing FAQ.) Nevertheless, the purpose of this FAQ is to provide you with a number of ways to arrive at your rates, and to do so without once running afoul of Guild policies or discussing the actual rates of any particular web developer.

MR. SCHMIDT: Because nothing in the protective order says that we couldn't use it. It said, if we did use it, it would be under seal, preserving the confidentiality of it. So if there is reference to this, as there will be, I wanted the Court to know that we intended to do that, so that the courtroom could be cleared, and so that this part of the record could be under seal to the extent that it's quoting from it. MR.

Again, that's your choice to feel that way. All great inventions and discoveries started as dreams. Some even started as works of fiction. Tiny cell phones that can act as computers were things of fantasy long before they were invented. Yes, we are dreamers. We dream of being able to hear world news without wanting to cry. We dream about sending our kids to school without fear they will be shot.

SUB JESUS: I agree. It's much easier to believe in parting waters, virgin births, talking serpents, 40 day floods and dead men rising.

Sure can! This isn't about writing jokes, or doing standup comedy, or having scripted one-liners. The skits will be humourous on their own, and we just want your sparkling personality to bring out the humour of the situation!

Well, think about it. The original album has "cash register" and "change" sounds in the intro of "Money." These sounds are very difficult to mimic with the voice (and not sound completely ridiculous). But, if you're going to perform the entire album, you can't skip a part just because it's difficult to do. So we sat down and thought about what sounds could we put in there that really represented the genre in which we're working (a cappella).

Yes. I'm a big believer that information plus fun equals learning. Your group will have fun and come away with new skills.

During 2006, an infection of bed bugs spread along the Camino Francés. By the end of the season, all refugios were aware of the problem, and many had been fumigated, but it is not certain that the problem will be solved in 2007. Don't be deterred from going on this account, but be aware of the possibility that the infection will recur. Here's what to look out for, and what to do if you should pick up a fellow-traveller or two.

That's a very good question. Actually, it's one we get asked quite often. That's why it's "frequently asked". And, this being a page of frequently asked questions, we thought it best that we include this question because it is one of our more frequently asked ones. Thank you for asking. And no, I am not avoiding the real question by going on and on about absolutely nothing. I'm not. Really. But you know, if we told you the truth, we'd have to kill you ... but only on Tuesdays.

That sounds like a splendid idea, but you should probably clear that with the woman to whom I've been happily married since 4-9-99. Since I don't have any children with her (or anyone else), she might say yes... or she might snap you like a twig... She's kind of unpredictable that way. You're thinking of Glenn Reynolds. Even though I *do* own two dogs, four cats, and a blender, I rarely combine them.

Sign up on the Rocket List, a daily e-mail forum where you can get your questions answered by other Rocket builders. Go to www.matronics.com and click on the e-mail lists at the bottom of the main page and sign yourself up. You'll get more info than any human can possibly digest... and some of it is invaluable. There are also many related links on my homepage.

If one person is found alive in the rubble after the disaster ? all rescue efforts would be worth it. If one hurting person is helped by what we're doing ? it WILL be worth all the efforts. Martin Luther King said: "It's always the right time to do the right thing."